Basic, Bitches

BASIC adjective ba·sic \ˈbā-sik also -zik\

Forming or relating to the most important part of something

So, can we eliminate the term “basic bitch” as an insult? Please.

First of all, lets look at the definition of the word. “Forming or relating to the most important part of something.”

So that’s, like, a good thing. It’s the most important part.

The More You Know

Like the basics of a wardrobe. This will differ depending on your gender expression and professional situation but for me, my basics are jeans, nerdy t-shirts, solid colored tops, dress pants in neutral colors, cardigans in all the colors and converse hi tops. They are my basics. I mix and match them in different combinations and I add fancy things to fancy them up, but these are my go to. My basics. Without them I would look a mess literally all the time. Not Figuratively. Literally.

Or the basics of reading – decoding letters, then words, then sentences, then paragraphs. Without learning the basics you couldn’t read this blog post.

Or the basics of math – addition, subtraction, multiplication and division. It’s how you know how much paint to buy and if that couch will fit in your new apartment.

Taking a perfectly awesome word like “basic” that means an awesome thing and turning it into yet another sexist way to reinforce the patriarchy? That’s just rude. Why would you do that to a perfectly good word?

So Rude.
So Rude.

And of course now we get to the real issue. The part about how once again the male population (and the female population because we can’t seem to stop sabotaging each other) literally MAKE UP reasons to hate on women for liking things. Things like wearing leggings and sweaters. Or liking Pumpkin Spice Lattes. Or listening to Taylor Swift. Or using pinterest. Or liking boxed wine. Or going to fucking brunch!!!

Let’s examine a few of these individually, shall we?

First. Leggings and sweaters and ugg boots and fall clothes. Dude. There is nothing wrong with liking comfortable clothes. Dudes should know this since 99.99% of what they wear on a regular basis is made to be comfortable. Their underclothes don’t leave red welts on their shoulders and around their chest. Their blazers don’t constrict blood flow when they raise their arms. They don’t squeeze themselves into non-breathable spandex to smooth out every lump because the dude world thinks we should all wear a size 2 but still eat like one of the guys.* Dude clothes are fucking comfortable.

I sometimes sit at a cafe or a bar and watch hundreds of straight couples walk by and the girls are all in little mini dresses and big high heels with hair and makeup that looks fucking gorgeous, and the dudes show up in cargo shorts, a polo and flip flops and maybe they’ve run their fingers through their hair. And then they go on the internet and complain that women don’t actually literally wake up that way! And when we do go out looking closer to how we do when we actually wake up, you call us fucking basic.

kiddingme

And you know what – if dudes don’t like what I look like in leggings and a long sweater they can kneel down and lick my vagina because I’m not here for them and I don’t care what they think. The “I don’t dress for you” is just as true in my casual wear as it is in my bar attire so you can fuck right off. Not to mention that women’s fashion is basically a giant conspiracy to make us uncomfortable and vulnerable in the first fucking place. There’s no winning. If I pour myself into skinny jeans and a crop top I’m slutty. If I wear looser pants and a t-shirt I’m a frumpy and unfashionable prude. If I wear leggings and a sweater I’m a basic bitch. In this sort of game, the only winning move is not to play. So I’ll wear my fucking leggings and sweater and you can fuck right off, sir.

fuck you face

Also, seriously,  brunch. Who doesn’t like brunch? Seriously? Tell me who doesn’t like super cheap booze consumed with friends and yummy foods on a day when you don’t have to work. What in the living fuck is wrong with that? Nothing. It’s basic in that it’s important and necessary for my making it through the week without killing you you condescending ass pirate.

Or walking home hungover the morning after partying. Because dudes are never hungover. And this is another no win scenario because if you party you’re a drunk slut and if you don’t you’re a lame anti-social prude. So fuck you. I own my hangover. Hangovers are the price you pay for being fucking alive.

And you know what else? I like pumpkin spice lattes. I also like Shamrock Shakes and Christmas cookies. They only come around once a year and when they do I want them in my mouth! What about the bros who go out for green beer on St. Patrick’s Day? Or LITERALLY ANY TRADITIONAL HOLIDAY FOOD! You like summer because you can barbeque? You basic bro. Like, what the fuck!? See also: Why do you care? WHY DO YOU EVEN CARE!??!! No wait, scratch that. I don’t care. I don’t even care why you care.

i don't care

Basic has become just another one of those “negative” words that is only used to insult women. Because to be a woman in this society is to be lesser than, so therefore everything a woman likes, or that a group of women like must be lesser than. Must be somehow worse and more useless than things that men like. Because obsessing over a group of men in spandex who throw a ball around is SO MUCH LESS MOCKABLE than how a woman wears her fucking eyeliner. Because watching a movie about two people who speak words to each other about an emotion that literally keeps the world populated has so much less existential value than watching dudes blow shit up in an attempt to depopulate the world. Seriously. Bros want to tear the fucking world down and basic bitches want to build it the fuck up.

Are women supposed to just not like things? Not get excited about things? Not have our own opinions and preferences?

OH RIGHT, DUDEBROS WOULD PREFER THAT!

internally screaming

They really would.

But the closest they can get is to put down literally everything that they don’t like, until it becomes so basic of an insult we don’t even notice how fucking ridiculous it is.

So seriously, can we just stop using basic as an insult to put down perfectly normal things that it is perfectly fine to enjoy and see it for the weapon of the patriarchy that it is?

scully knows

*Note: I give literally no fucks what any dude thinks of me in any capacity, but I speak on behalf of those who do enjoy conversing, relating and/or having sex with men.

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3 thoughts on “Basic, Bitches

  1. ****hugs**** amazing. Also, I ❤ leggings with sweaters (and comfy boots!), brunch, Taylor Swift, box wine, and… my husband. I am a heteronormative Jewess and I rock my frizzy hair and glasses while driving my sensible car and shopping at discount stores to find the best deals. Hooray for owning yourself!

  2. I have been DYING all summer to get into my sweaters and leggings. You’ll have to pry them from my cold, dead hands because THEY ARE SO COMFY. It’s too bad I have a suit-ier job now and can’t wear them to work anymore 😦

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